I remember when I was still living in Argentina, when I was a child and even when I was a young teenager: all my heart’s dreams and plans on hold due to circumstances that were out of my control, that feeling of waiting until someday, surely, things would be better. I was very optimistic, and I didn’t doubt this. I also had no expectation as to when. And my situation did improve, beyond my wildest dreams, but the road to that improvement would be slow, arduous, it would not be an immediate improvement, or one without terrible loss and sacrifice.
So, perhaps you’ll forgive me for adding a dose of reality to my outlook these days, even as my optimism remains, if rather dampened by maturity.
Before the virus hit, I was content, but not exactly happy given the events of the last few years. I felt (and feel) restless. A world that seemed big and full of possibility suddenly feels small and with few things left to discover. Obviously untrue, but I have become more jaded than I would like. There was plenty going on to distract me, though, so it was alright.
But now it’s gone back to a little of that old feeling. Someday surely things will be better. Someday, surely, I will feel joy and excitement again. But none of us knows when that will be. The virus could magically end tomorrow and we still wouldn’t have normalcy. If you’re not too young or too naive, you realize that the world has changed forever: the old world is forever gone. A new world in which we can be happy is sure to emerge eventually. Until then, I feel as though I am aestiving, not unlike my snails.
Speaking of them, the babies moved back into the bigger tank yesterday, with my wildies:
Everyone continues to do very well, especially my favorite oversized potato:
I’ve been doing a lot of personal art, not exercising at all, eating too many sweets, hating the heat and trying to get excited about my birthday. Tomorrow I’ll have a Zoom call with my mom. And that’s pretty much all that’s been going on.
I’m tired of drawing today so I think I’m going to do chores for a few hours. Hope everyone is having a nice week~ 👋