Yard Work ๐Ÿฆ—

Even though I’m not doing okay mentally, I managed to be pretty helpful in the yard without as much whining as I feared I might have done. I ended up in a ton of pain but I helped raking leaves and with Christopher we put down two pallets of sod together. I also did a lot of pressure cleaning.

More than anything I am relieved that considering how I am currently feeling I managed to be cheerful most of the time because I really don’t want to bring my family down with my nonsense, again.

๐Ÿ› Working On The Yard ๐Ÿ›

My mom in law found a cute caterpillar while raking leaves so she let me take him to a safe place. He was such a cutie:

Here’s some video of the little bugger, too:

I really didn’t want to be the first one to tap out (and I only stopped maybe 15 minutes before everyone else, after working since before 8:00am) but I was actually crying by that point because of the terribly pain in my old wrist injury. I think it’ll be okay though.

These photos are from when I came back inside. Almost every area of uncovered skin looked like my arm. ๐Ÿ˜…

Oh yeah –the fridge behind me is the new fridge. It was delivered today. It’s a pretty nice fridge.

Here are some photos of our freshly sodded and pressure cleaned yard and house. The first pallet had some kinda bad squares, but Christopher said it will all grow in very nicely.

After going back in, I showered and sat down to relax for a bit. I had a package to open.

๐ŸŽˆ Birthday Present From Drake ๐ŸŽˆ

My friend Drake sent me a really fancy birthday present! It’s a very cute (but very good, it’s not a toy) crayon sharpener. I hope to use it on the next Little playdate.

Mojito was admiring it too!

Thank you Drakey for such a very lovely present. ๐Ÿ’•โœจ

๐Ÿฐ Scrapbooking Time ๐Ÿฐ

After that I worked a bit on my scrapbook and watched Crayon Shin-Chan. Mignon wanted to watch so I prepared his little chair for him to sit on.

And that was that for the day. Eventually I began working on chores. Grandma made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. The day didn’t end on a bad note. Perhaps I’ll cheer up tomorrow, I’m going to try!

Feeling Kinda Broken Lately… ๐Ÿ’”

I think I just donโ€™t know how to talk to people in a normal way. I say too much or too little, almost all of the time. Especially the former. I am so awkward.

Iโ€™ve been told I am this way since childhood and I have been told I have to change. I have always tried, and sometimes I think I am getting better, but eventually I am reminded that Iโ€™m really, really not. Every day itโ€™s more obvious that Iโ€™m not neurotypical at all (and I never have been) but that knowledge doesnโ€™t help. I still have to carry this painful inability to be social in the same wavelength as others that is always there. Always putting my foot in my mouth or wondering if I did. Always wondering.

Iโ€™m so sorry for being this wayโ€ฆ Iโ€™m in a perpetual state of anxiety because of it. If I ever offend you, I probably didnโ€™t mean to. I just really wear my heart in my sleeve instead of showing it slowly. It can be really off putting. Iโ€™m so sorry for that, I really mean that.