Fitness Log 6/6/22 ๐Ÿ˜–

This post is definitely way more triggering than my usual fitness posts, which 99% of the time are limited simply to stats and information. I just need a place to vent these thoughts and feelings which apply to me and my relationship with my body ONLY. If talk about body image issues, weight and/or weight loss is distressing for you, please, skip this post altogether (and you may want to skip all my fitness posts).

I made this paragraph long so you have a chance not to scroll further if you’re viewing this in email form (if you’re an email subscriber) given that “cuts” don’t work on email, I think. If that is the case and this post could trigger you, just delete the email and don’t read beyond this paragraph. Thank you!

CW: Calorie counting and/or weight tracking after the cut. Please do not proceed if you have an eating disorder and/or find posts of this sort triggering.

So… today was a bit of a wake-up call. I had a (new) “normal” day as far as my eating habits, which over the last few months regressed once again to eating my feelings, eating when bored, eating when reading/gaming/watching TV, waiting until I feel like I can eat again, purely out of compulsion. I eat very little when I do, which is why it still remains somewhat under control, even if I snack constantly… and I still exercise (though a lot less than I did a few months ago). But my slacking off was regardless enough to put back on all my lost weight.

Naturally I am discouraged and disappointed with myself. I stopped doing weigh-ins and tracking calories for literally no reason other than laziness. Yesterday when I finally tracked all my calories again, I was horrified at the final tally, in a sedentary workday. ๐Ÿ˜“ Though some numbers may be higher than they actually are (I prefer to err on the side of overcounting calories rather than undercounting).

But track them I did, and I post them even if I am mortified, to keep myself accountable. I reset and updated both my exercise ticker and my weight tracker. Seeing that metric having gone up so dramatically is embarrassing, but all I can do is not let that paralyze me and keep moving forward. A few months ago I was the happiest I’d been with my body in my entire life. I know by Christmas I can easily be there again if only I stay consistent. So here we go again!

๐Ÿฐ Current Progress ๐Ÿฐ

LilySlim Weight charts LilySlim Exercise days tickers

๐Ÿฅ— Daily Calories ๐Ÿฅ—

Daily goal: 1,200 kcal/day ๐Ÿ’ž EXERCISE IN BOLD

Starbucks Doubleshot Light Espresso x 3210
Stroopwafel x 2340
Wonder Ball130
Turkey Burger250
Refried Beans100
Centrum Multi Beauty Multigummies20
Protein One Strawberries & Cream Protein Bar90
Fruit Loops Jumbo Snax50
Handful of nuts70
Margarine and fig spread sandwich on Italian bread 255
Jersey Mike’s Tuna Sub On Normal Bread W/Two Slices of Swiss1,160
Baked Lays (1/2 Bag)120

โœจ Summary โœจ

๐ŸŽˆ TODAY’S WEIGHT:128.4 lbs