I’m not doing so good. I had a really bad night and a worse morning. My cramps are really bad… had a raging headache this morning. Emotionally I’m not doing so hot either, I never do when I’m on my period but I think today that may be putting it mildly. I just want to turn off all my feelings, hormonal or otherwise. I can never tell the difference between the two.
This is my only post today besides my fitness post, I just can’t be bothered. I’m going to try to get ready to go visit my mom tonight. At least I did get my walk in.
You can make a difference in your own day and mindset more than you think! Do the little things that make you happy. I promise they’re not a waste of time. Take pictures of them to look at later.
My journaling became a great tool against the clinical depression I endured last year. I would write and do happy things even when I didn’t really feel them. Looking at them later kinda made it seem like I was not doing as bad as I thought and I found my mood improved more and more with the passing days!
This doesn’t always help but for me it works more often than not. A kind of positive self-gaslighting of sorts? LOL. Anyway. You’re worth taking time to make even mundane things something to smile about. So do it! 💕🌈🧸✨
I feel better today than I have in many days. I know I’m still not okay, I know I won’t magically be okay —I haven’t talked much about my sorta recent bout of depression, but really it isn’t that recent. I’ve just been in denial about it for months.
You know how it is, if you manage to feel happy for a day or two you convince yourself you can’t be really depressed, or if you have friends dealing with far more debilitating depression, allowing yourself to call your own struggle by the same word is very difficult. It’s like saying “I’m hurt too” when you feel that what you have is a sprained ankle and the person next to you has two broken legs. But even if my pain doesn’t seem as raw, I realize that ignoring it hasn’t been helping at all.
Ironically I feel least likely to reach out to those who would understand me the most, for the reasons stated above. I feel like if anything I need to make sure I stay strong for when they need me.
Anyway work has actually been going really well. My husband has been so supportive of it all, and he is the one who has helped me most to come to terms with the fact that my depression is back, so I can deal with it. I’ve been getting lots done and make sure I stay busy with things that make me happy. I still can do that thankfully, which is a good sign.
I let myself work on a new pair of icons for my friend and me, which will be spring + cloud-watching themed (maybe I’ll stretch it into a banner too!) And I’ve been working on my books and commercial projects.